Christian Families
There
are many things this generation will feel is old fashioned in this book, naming
this chapter Christian families probably helps it top the list. The
relationships in families have changed very drastically in the last thirty
years, much less the total change from when God created us. Yet within all
these worldly changes God’s plan is still the same, He would have marriage and
children within the confines of a Christian home. This may be hard to do as
divorce and sexual promiscuity have made single parent homes become a normal
situation. Many two parent homes now skimp on family time by chasing all the
goodies that can make their life worthwhile. In order to afford these goodies
family life must hit the fast lane. Both parents must have jobs while at the
same time trying to raise a family by juggling schedules, shuffling children,
trying to find time to bring their children to all those special activities,
sports, and social events. It makes one tired just thinking about the pace, the
problem of fitting the Christian lifestyle into the modern era. We are not
going to even try and solve this problem, but merely explain what the Lord
would have us do. Each will have to look in their own hearts to see what is
important, how to manage your family so the Lord draws top billing.
I
guess one should start with the children. Every child should know they are
special, special because of the love they receive from mommy, daddy, and the
rest of the family, but more important they are special because they are
children of Jesus. Jesus wants the little ones to know and love Him as He
dearly loves them. Jesus would have little children talk with Him in prayer,
asking Him for help and comfort, thanking Him for all the blessings He has
given them, and just visiting with their best friend. Jesus would have children
love and respect their parents, the extended family members, all those in
authority over them, and the elderly. Children should help out with the chores
to keep the household running smoothly. They should be encouraged to work to
earn some of the things they want, while learning the value of saving some of
their hard earned money, and to give to Jesus by helping others who are not as
fortunate. There is a special feeling when they know they have helped another
boy or girl their age have enough to eat, enough to survive on.
As
children grow up social pressures start entering into their lives. The world
has a weird balance of expectations for the younger generation. Expecting them
to be fully able to handle all the adult sexuality and violence thrown at them,
expecting them to win, be number one at any cost, and giving them the
expectation of instant gratification by overindulging them. Children can no
longer just be children. Younger children are now imitating sexuality beyond
their years while their parents and older peers think it is cute. Tie that with
all the violence that is glorified in the movie and television world and you
have a child absorbing what society is trying to avoid. When instant
gratification is learned you have a child that is bored unless entertained,
never learning to read or use one’s imagination to have fun. When the
responsibilities of chores, work, study, manners, or learning about Jesus are
discussed, many feel children are being pushed or asked to do what is beyond
their capabilities, they are only children let them grow up. We have our
priorities completely reversed, partly because we choose the easier path of fun
when interacting with our children, partly because we try and give our children
too much, that which we did not have in our youth, and partly because we forget
the greatest gift we can give them is our time, quality Christian family time.
Then
we come to the stage where boys and girls become young men and women. Where
fathers go off to oil their shotguns and mothers wonder if and when they should
help their daughters get birth control. Now the government has made that a
little easier allowing birth control to be given to young adults, without
parental knowledge. The hormone race is on. In today’s sex crazed world many
show what they have, letting all see their sexual potential in the skimpy
outfits they wear. The trouble is you get what you see, and then discover its
all been shown to you and there is no more. When the sexual fire burns out, one
goes looking for another fire trying to sustain the gratification of sex, for
nothing else is present in these relationships. A Christian relationship is
different. Our Lord would have us dress modestly, and be modest in spirit as
well. Simplicity and modesty lets one’s inner beauty shine out. Love is not
just receiving sexual pleasure. Love is not bold, brazen, or boisterous. Love
is truthful, modest, quiet. Love is more worried about others than oneself.
Love finds more joy in giving than receiving. Love is always helping the other
spouse out through tough times, when they are down, bringing problems to Jesus
who alone can solve them. There was good reason in the past for having to get
parental permission, when a girl would not marry without her parents consent.
This allowed maturity to overlook hormones, made sure there were common
beliefs, made the couple part of a larger extended family with the same goals,
attitudes, beliefs. This will never come back, but it would sure cut down on
the divorce rate. The point being that a lasting relationship needs friendship,
mutual respect, common beliefs and goals as well as love to hold it together.
That in marriage a man and wife join together under Christ in a life long
union. Giving love through marriage means giving your spouse all the love you
have, knowing it will be you and your spouse forever under Christ. Giving all
the sexual favors you have, knowing your spouse desires to give you back even
more out of love for you. Knowing there will never be another for either of
you, for you have each other and with the Lord leading you that is more than
sufficient. When you give totally of yourself out of love with one who gives
and feels the same way about you, you have defined the correct meaning of
making love. Always aware of all the sexual snares in the world. Each spouse
giving freely of themselves to the other so there is no void to be tempted, no
lust to be sought. For in marriage there is no his or hers, but one in Christ,
working to stay in His love, His will.
When
man and woman are joined together through marriage with Jesus as the head they
are a new unit, a different being. Woman is part of the man, and man is part of
the woman, they are not separate beings. The Christian woman is to submit to
her Christian husband, in all God pleasing things, as the church submits to
Christ. The Christian husband is to love his Christian wife as Christ loved the
church. Christ gave His life for the church, Christ loves, takes care of, and
does all He can do, His very best for the church. God gave the same obligation
to man, to give his life for his wife, to take care of her, and to do all he
can to keep her in the Lord. When you love your spouse you love yourself, when
you fight with your spouse you are only fighting with your self. For you are
one in Christ, an extension of each other. An extension but also a difference,
for God not only created man and woman different physically but also
emotionally, with different needs, different desires. God made man and woman to
compliment each other, to balance each other, not mimic each other, not to
compete with each other to see who is best. For two fighting or competing with
each other can never accomplish what two working together as one can do. There
is no brotherhood or sisterhood in marriage, only a man and a woman working as
one, being as one, living as one, loving as one.
First
comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby carriage. Don’t we all
wish it were this way. The number of babies born out of wedlock is staggering.
Add all those out of divorced single parent families and there are a lot of
children that can use some extra love. But let’s not get on a tirade about that
which we cannot change. There are a lot of single parents and young children
that need help. Jesus treated little children special and would have us do the
same. We must all help these children. There are many retired people that are
looking to take it easy over their last years. Look into some of these kids’
eyes. They need your love, time, and patience. The Lord never promised us an
easy time on earth. He is planning a very special retirement for us when we
arrive in Heaven. Jesus wants you to help and bring these children to Him,
whether you do it through the church or on your own. Jesus also needs big
brothers and big sisters to lead these children to Him. While we wish there
were not all of these children to help care for remember this, man is now
killing these babes before they are born because they are unwanted. How anyone
could kill these precious gifts of God is a wonder. That any Christian could
believe Jesus would not want any of these to be born and sing praises to Him is
unbelievable. There are Christian couples waiting to love and adopt these
children. Those that let a Christian couple adopt their child are showing
Christ’s love, for they love their child more than they love their own selfish
desires. Christ put special punishments upon anyone that would take His
children from His care or hurt them. Jesus expects all to raise children in His
love, whether we be parents, extended family, or any part of the Christian family.
There
are also those parents that become parents by proxy. They have such busy
schedules or careers that they hire someone else to raise their children. Often
they give strict instructions to nannies, teachers, instructors, and any other
taking care of their child. They know how their child should be raised. Now if
they could just fine some decent help and teachers, instead of all these idiots
who are just after the wages, one might be able to raise their child properly.
When any problem arises it is because their instructions were not followed, for
with their expertise and their child’s superior capabilities what else could it
be? They never consider that a child needs a parent’s love, affection,
patience, time when there is no rush, and most important of all quiet time with
the family to grow in the Lord. When you have children the Lord puts a big
responsibility on the parent’s shoulders, to love and nurture the children,
bringing them into the Lord’s fold. Christ also expects no less from the extended
family and church families, as He wants all children safe in His tender arms.
Women
have made giant strides in gaining equality with men. There are many places
they have deservedly received their due. But not all of women’s lifestyle
changes are for the good. Women have learned all the aggressive and obnoxious
behaviors that were once the predominance of man. Women have also accepted
man’s bad trait of putting their career ahead of everything else. Many travel
this road and when they reach the pinnacle find nothing, others are on this
road and haven’t looked to see what they are leaving behind, that there is
something more important in life. That living and being part of a Christian
environment will fill your soul to overflowing with happiness, joy, love, satisfaction,
and peace, if you will only slow down and be part of it, let it be part of your
life. That others enjoy spending time with you, and through the Christian
family you receive quality time, love, help and security to stay with the Lord.
Women
have been given a very special gift from God. To have our dear children, to be
able to love, nourish, nurture this miracle of new life. The husband should
help out all he can, available to spend quality time with his children, set the
agenda for them to learn about our Savior, but it is the woman with her unique
God given ability to bond with children that sets the tone for the child. This
is true not only in the home but in our schools where women do a much better
job starting all the primary grade children on their paths. Just as man is head
of the family under Christ, so would Christ have man be head of the church
under our Lord. Not to rule over the church , but to be a servant in leading
the church in Christ’s commands. While God gives man this unique role, women
also have many unique roles, including her gift with children. Jesus told us
that unless we were like little children we could not enter the kingdom of
Heaven. We should show the little ones to Jesus while they have the child like
trust needed to accept Him. Although man can help, no one has the ability to
bond and connect with the little ones as their mothers and extended mothers in
Christ do. Some women feel they have the ability to lead and should not be
under men. In a worldly sense this is probably true, but we do not always
understand all of God’s ways, and all will never seem fair to us. What we do
know is this, in God’s Kingdom there will be no greater glory or blessings
given than to those who bring the little ones to the Lord. The greatest in
Heaven will be those who humble themselves like little children and serve the
Lord. God has given woman the chance to receive the greatest blessings in
Heaven. There is no greater opportunity in life
There
are many modern lifestyles that do not fit into the morals our Lord would have
us live by. Lifestyles that depend on the gratification of sex outside of
marriage, homosexuality, incest, pedophilia, drugs, alcoholism, gambling, or
any other activity that we put more importance on than our Lord. These are all
sins, for God has commanded us not to do them. There is no large or small sin,
for all sin will separate you from God. Some of these sins are physical as well
as mental addictions, but it makes no difference. We must overcome sin no
matter how much work is involved, no matter how painful the struggle.
The
trouble is man thinks he is giving away too much, that one is giving up one’s
identity, who they are, that their body will not let them act different. Man is
trying to go around what God would have us do by labeling it old fashioned,
using worldly support of political correctness and believing he is not
responsible for his human cravings, especially if they hurt no one else. But as
you look at these lifestyles they all count on something else than Jesus for
all of their needs. Something besides Jesus to give them the satisfaction,
release, pleasure, and cravings their bodies are seeking. They need something
else to give them a complete life. There is something they will not give up for
Jesus, for something else is more important to them. When we go through the
Christian church, we go through Christ for our needs. When we go through
marriage we go through Christ for He is head of the union. But when we go
through sex outside of marriage, when we go through homosexuality, when we go
through alcoholism, or any other human addiction or cravings we only go through
only our own bodies for self gratification, Christ in not there. Christ is only
available to help us break the hold of these sins, breaking the bonds of Satan,
taking us back into our Christian lifestyle.
There
are many struggles and trials we must face in our life. Some of them will be
harder than others, and each of us will receive different trials. We may have
trials of the sinful desires in the paragraph above, some medical struggles
that hold us down, emotional battles, financial problems, or just irritating
little annoyances that get under our skin. But we will all have difficulties
and temptations that we have to overcome. We all have our weak spots to
temptation and the devil knows exactly which buttons to press. Some trials are
hard for man to recognize. Jesus said one of the biggest handicaps to overcome
is being rich. It is very hard for rich people to give up the security of
wealth and imagine themselves having nothing, trusting only in Jesus for all
their needs. God doesn’t tempt us or put difficulties in our life, but He
allows them to happen, promising never to burden us with more than we can
overcome with Christ’s help. God doesn’t let this happen to tear us down, but
to build us up, to strengthen our faith as Jesus continually helps us win over
temptation. Our faith gets stronger and stronger for we know that with Jesus at
our side we can overcome anything. These trials teach us how to listen to
Jesus, to follow what He would have us do, to pray knowing that He will always
listen. We must accept our Savior’s answer even though it may change us to be
happy what we have, instead of getting what we want. Then let Jesus mold us
into the Christian He would have us be under His great master plan for families
and lifestyles.